Ramblings of an insomniac

It has been a while since I have posted a blog...part of me wonders if anyone actually reads this nonsense and the other just doesn't give a flying rats ass about what others do and don't do.

I spent the spring semester at Regis fighting the toughest battle i have ever fought...fighting against my shoulder which refused to stay located. I have learned a lot about myself in the past few months since the skiing accident, I am stronger than I thought I was, I have some TRUELY amazing friends who were by my side in the hospital and during the recovery process (Allie B, Ariel, Jennakins to only name a few), I have also learned that people will turn on you as fast as a pit bull. I had a few girls who I thought were my friends but did not even text me after my surgery to wish me well or ask how I was doing...that hurt...a lot. Until I realized I am better off with out them.

That experience has made me really question myself and what I want. After so many hard relationships which have ended in either my heart being ripped from my chest and stomped on or resulting in bodily harm, I am left to question if there are any good guys left in the world. I am sick of always finding these guys who treat me this way. I know I deserve better than this. I deserve to be treated like a woman, respected, loved, cared for. Why is that too much to ask for?

The events of the past few months have knocked me down to my knees, "When life knocks you down to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray" as the Jesuit priest who came to pray with me before my surgery said. Those of you who know me, know I am not much of a religious person, but in a time of crisis such as what I was in back in April, things change. When you are alone and have no one else to lean on, religion seemed like the only route to go...that or a complete shut down. I chose to stand up and survive. Albeit difficult, I CHOSE to survive.

I am a stronger woman now, ready to face the world and do better than survive. I will thrive and be amazing because I have the support of amazing friends and a wonderful family.